It has taken me all week to read John Mayer"s interview with Best Life. Not because I’ve been busy, but because I was bored. So bored I could only manage one page at a time. One page is all I could tolerate. The man insufferably long winded. This coming from someone who isn’t exactly concise herself.

But the way this bitch goes on and on and on and on… by the end of you really do want him to pee on you, just to make him shut the f&ck up.

John Mayer is That Guy. That Guy who takes you to dinner and spends the entire time, from the car ride through the appetiser, the entrée, you want to skip dessert but he insists, you want to grab a cab but he refuses, all the way back to your front door, John Mayer it That Guy who can only talk about himself…which, if you ask me, is akin to having a penis the size of a cheeto.

As such, say goodbye to John Mayer on the Freebie Five.

There is one interesting detail in the article though – if you can stay awake - of course it’s when he’s talking about Jessica Simpson. Read between his babbling and you will note…

John Mayer is totally admitting to having Shame Face.