'One Splendid Evening with John Mayer and Friends' benefit on the new Carnival Cruise ship Carnival Splendor last night. Friends did not include Jennifer Aniston but did include Jordin Sparks, Gavin Rossdale, Eve, and even Kevin McKidd. You know him from Rome. Or, if you’re still watching that stupidness called Grey’s Anatomy, he’s currently Christina Yang’s love interest. I think…? Let me guess – those two are the only watchable character left, right? How did it die so fast???

Sorry, I digress.

This is about Douchey on the boat. And he sang. And he looked relaxed. Because he can Twitter and blog and hold press conferences about his personal life and shoot stories for the paparazzi as often as he wants now that Jennifer Aniston has had enough (temporarily).

But was the split really about the tweets? Or could a Fox have had something to do with it?

Let me brag a little, just because I did nothing to deserve it. You can click away if you can’t stand it. But I did suggest it, right? The pairing of John Mayer and Megan Fox would spin off smut legends for YEARS.

And she’s probably single now. Last couple of weeks, there’s been limited contact with Brian Austin Green. Word is Fox has been able to, for the most part, extricate herself from that relationship finally, and here she is, all sexed up and cheap looking running errands yesterday, waiting for John to call her. Now here’s a girl who’d get off on getting pissed on. And he did tweet about it when news first broke that she was available…

Sweet merciful Shiloh, do it for us!

John Mayer and Megan Fox…

John Mayer’s next girlfriend is the poor man’s Angelina. Fabulous and 40! But still <<<< than the Original Jolie and the Imitation Jolie?


You know you’d love it. You know you’d live off it. For the next 20 years we’d live off it.

This is music to Mayer’s ears. Tabloid longevity, it’s his life’s ambition.

Photos from Wenn.com and Tonya Wise/London Ent/Splashnewsonline.com and Flynetonline.com