You can’t clean a douche. Does that make sense? In reference to John Mayer...yes.

John announced at New Year’s on his Twitter that he was taking a break from being a dick.

So you’ve heard about his pathetic stand up comedy attempts, right? Click here for a refresher. New Year? Same douche. No cleansing. This time he’s not racist, but he is a total misogynist, and before a London crowd the other night, at the Hard Rock, John Mayer tried out his not funny act again, this time joking about Jesus, abortion, drugs, and the power of his penis. Indeed, at one point he announced to the crowed that:

“I could have any one of you ladies tonight. Somebody’s going to get pregnant.”

Needless to say, the English audience wasn’t amused. So, feeling the tension, John continued by comparing their chilly reception to a girl who didn’t get off:

“It’s a bit like you’ve just had sex, woken up and asked if your girl has had an orgasm and she says ‘No’. I’m going to take it the uncomfortable glory”, before joking: “This is going well.”


John did end up performing after his asstalk and, for those who can appreciate his limp dick songs, did not disappoint on this end. But still...

I don’t care if he invented the f-cking guitar, HOW do you tolerate the personality? How can you stand a bitch who hates himself by fellating himself? The insecurity is so unoriginal.

My favourite out of all this however is that Jennifer Aniston loved him. SHE LOVED HIM.

Attached – photos of JM leaving the venue.

Photos from