John Mayer is promoting a new album. A few weeks ago, I wrote this article about his self-imposed retreat, subsequent return, and seeming new perspective. As I noted in that post, I couldn’t criticise; he did indeed take ownership of his mistakes and accountability for his ego. And then I asked:
Is change possible?
Well, there was a mention in that piece about John’s favourite subject: John Mayer. In the end, it appears that all the introspection in the world, all that self-discovery only led back to one discovery: John Mayer can’t help himself.
In a new interview with Rolling Stone, Mayer addresses his relationship with Taylor Swift and her song, Dear John, composed in direct response to his treatment of her, then 19 when he was 31:
"It made me feel terrible. Because I didn't deserve it. I'm pretty good at taking accountability now, and I never did anything to deserve that. It was a really lousy thing for her to do."
Oh I see what you just did there - you just boasted about being accountable, didn’t you? Did you just boast about being accountable???
"I never got an e-mail. I never got a phone call," he says. "I was really caught off-guard, and it really humiliated me at a time when I'd already been dressed down. I mean, how would you feel if, at the lowest you've ever been, someone kicked you even lower?" When asked about the song's line, "Don't you think I was too young to be messed with?" Mayer says, "I don't want to go into that."
Of course you don’t want to go into that. You’re OK sh-tting on her the whole time, but divulging the specifics of how you might have f-cked her over? No, we won’t go there. Because you’re so good at taking accountability now.
"I will say as a songwriter that I think it's kind of cheap songwriting," he says. "I know she's the biggest thing in the world, and I'm not trying to sink anybody's ship, but I think it's abusing your talent to rub your hands together and go, 'Wait till he gets a load of this!' That's bullsh-t."
But that’s the thing about accountability, John. It comes with Consequence. And it’s the reason why there’s an entire generation of failures out there waiting to inherit the world. Because they, like John Mayer, are raised on the milk of entitlement, so that even when they are wrong, it shocks them when “sorry” isn’t enough. This is why Chris Brown couldn’t accept that some people couldn’t forgive him, even though he already apologised with his mouth. This is why John Mayer can’t concede that he had it coming to him when Taylor Swift told the world through music that he was a prick to her. This is why I love Game Of Thrones. Because in the Game of Thrones, when you make a mistake, YOU WILL PAY. That is LIFE. And that’s why our young are so unsuccessful at living it. Because no one is a. allowing them to screw up and learn and b. punishing them for it when they do.
This is what happens when you talk about how Jessica Simpson f-cked the sh-t out of you; this is what happens when you tell everyone - in Playboy no less! - that Jennifer Aniston nagged you for tweeting too much:
A saccharine, punky, curly-haired, goody two-shoed disingenuous sweetheart burns your ass.
Are you going to suck it up and take it like a proper adult and or are you just going to stand there with your limp dick in your hand and cry about it in the faces of your blindly devoted female fans who don’t know the difference between character and cheap imitations?
Just once, ONCE, I wish they all weren’t so predictable.