Gift from a Douche

Lainey Posted by Lainey at July 20, 2009 06:55:30 July 20, 2009 06:55:30

How long before they get back together?

John Mayer lives for attention. And he knows it would be a great story. Pisser is probably working it with Porny right now over text and Skype, perhaps he sent her a CD of tracks, new limp dick music to heal her broken heart. It’s apparently a move he uses often.

According to Page Six, he used it when they were dating. It was Jessica Simpson’s birthday and John couldn’t make the party because he was touring so instead he sent her a dvd of him on stage. Not sure if it came with a side order of his urine but she ate it up. And she spent the entire night watching it over and over again “on a loop” imagining that he was right there with her.

F-ck me.

It’s one thing for him to use her to inflate his ego, it’s another for her to allow it. Can you imagine? It’s the worst shame – not only to sit around pining and moping over some douche, but to do it so publicly, to the point where everyone around her was cringing from fontrum, and to be so pathetic SO OFTEN…

It’s Porny who needs a BFF reality show. If Porny had a BFF reality show I would totally try out. I would be first in line, I would line up overnight, I would become her BFF. I would consider it an act of humanity. Because this is a girl who needs saving.

File photo from Jackson Lee/

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