Worse Than Hair Weave

Lainey Posted by Lainey at August 3, 2007 12:00:00 August 3, 2007 12:00:00

Jessica Simpson might hawk fake hair, but at least you expect it from her, you know? Without a brain or much discernible talent, the only things she has are her tits and a mane. John Mayer on the other hand… well, he’s supposed to be a real musician. He’s supposed to be a serious one too. A songwriter, a performer… an ARTIST.

So what the hell is he doing singing on a cruise ship? A Carnival Cruise Ship!!! With buffet tables and shuffleboard!

Here’s the press release from the Mayercraft Carrier:


There"s no better place to enjoy the wonderful weather of February than the Bahamas. With that in mind...

John & Sixthman are pleased to announce the first ever John Mayer-hosted cruise: The Mayercraft Carrier.

The Mayercraft Carrier is a 3-day Caribbean cruise that sets sail on February 1, 2008 from Miami, FL and visits Freeport, Bahamas before returning on February 4, 2008. The cruise will feature sets by John in nightclub-like settings as well as performances by a dozen or so other hand-picked artists. All of this takes place aboard the Carnival Victory, a member of the Carnival fleet that includes all the luxurious amenities Carnival is known for such as a full-service spa, fine dining, a casino, and much more.

Replace the mittens with suntan lotion, the resolutions with buffet feasts, and your car in traffic with a 90,000-ton cruise ship full of rock bands!

CRUISE ITINERARY (subject to change)
• Friday, February 1, 2008 - depart Miami FL on the Carnival Victory (approx 4:00pm ET)
You must be on board by 3:00pm - Please plan your travel to the port accordingly
• Saturday, February 2, 2008 – Freeport, Bahamas (approx 8:00am – 6:00pm ET)
• Sunday, February 3, 2008 – Rock Day at Sea!
• Monday, February 4, 2008 - arrive Miami FL (approx 8:00am ET) It is not advised to book a flight any earlier than 12 Noon on the 4th - Customs could delay debarkation.

Click here for the link…looks pretty authentic to me.

Now I won’t lie … I love cruising. Am all over cruising. But Carnival is the low classy of cruising. And cruise performing is what Simon Cowell says when someone sucks sh-t. So again…what the f&ck is up with John Mayer?

Is he broke? Is he bi-polar? Is he Britney?


A new Super Fraud has emerged. Bigger perhaps than Tom Cruise AND Jennifer Aniston.

John Mayer is a Super Fraud. There is no Wonderland. There is no sensitivity. There is no Daughters. There is however a vile pig. A pig who enjoys pissing all over his conquests because he can. A pig who insists on artistic integrity but who has sold out to a cruise ship and the retirement crowd.


Does he have any fans left?


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