While his girlfriend Jennifer Aniston is electrifying the blogosphere today, empowering women by getting naked and spreading her legs (more photos from the magazine are attached and seriously her breasts are hurting me), John Mayer has taken to the Huffington Post to show off how he brilliantly he thinks thoughts. Read John’s latest manifesto here.

Needless to say, he’s apparently learned a few new words and wanted to share them with us.


John is douchey but he’s always entertaining.

His thesis? Snarky bloggers should learn from Don Rickles. We can and should eviscerate our subjects but also demonstrate some heart?

I think that’s what he means although I may also be too stupid, or obtuse, to fully appreciate the brilliance of his mind. This, you see, is John Mayer’s justification. Like Mary Kate Olsen’s fashion sense, not everyone is supposed to “get” it. All of a sudden, John Mayer is esoteric…though the irony of it all is that he probably used to be more so until Jessica Simpson came along and the raging attention whore gestating in his soul suddenly found an outlet.

Because the fact of the matter is, the John Mayer today, the John Mayer most of us know now, was created by The Blog. To rail against it, or more accurately, to offer it counsel then is like the pupil teaching the master.

So here’s a “salient rule of entertainment”: You don’t know more than your Creator.

And “financial” would have been a much less pretentious choice than “pecuniary”… or was that his word of the day? Must have been.

Here’s my word of the day: solipsistic.

It certainly applies.

Mayer file photo from Wenn.com