It makes me crazy that we are in the minority, you know? In the minority of those who know. Who know about the Pilot Gay. Who know about popping tents during massage therapy. Who can smell the Mo in him through a photo on a computer. Who look at the spray paint in his hair and shudder from revulsion.

We are in the minority.

Because the vast majority is still hanging on the memories of Staying Alive and, later on, Pulp Fiction. Back before his programming got short circuited. Since then, hints of gay keep lingering around him like what happens when I eat Greek food. It’s like garlic for DAYS.

Last night John Travolta practically pranced down the carpet. At the very least his wife was an improvement this year. Remember that hideous D&G animal she wore in 2007?

More importantly though… why is Kelly Preston c*ckblocking her own husband?

Clearly he wants to be connected to his hairline twin – Dwayne The Rock Johnson - who, I repeat, is NOT the subject of a blind riddle, much to Travolta’s chagrin.

Still… if I’m The Rock this morning, I’ve got a shaved head.