It’s your parents who don’t know. And their parents. That’s who this is for.

Thank you for explaining it to me the last few weeks. Many of you have emailed to confirm that, indeed, there are people out there, A LOT of people, who still think John Travolta is straight. That it would be impossible for him to be un-straight considering he has a beautiful wife and children. So when John and Kelly Preston show up at the premiere of Savages, nuzzling each other for the cameras, suggesting that they do have man and woman sex, it’s for the benefit of your parents.

But is it unfair of us? They’re not the only ones. Why am I so kind to the beloved gay actor who adores his wife, who is his life partner, while loving his serious boyfriend? In public they front like theirs is a legit hetero situation too. In that case they are honest in private. She knows, they all know, their friends know, an entire community knows, and no one is trying to suppress or change it; they just stop short of the press release.

That’s what’s uncomfortable about Travolta’s predicament. The more they try to push it out of him, the  less control he has of who he is. Which is why his boner keeps getting in the way of his massage therapy. It’s been over 25 years of boners and massage therapy. He won’t be able to discredit them all.