John Travolta and Kelly Preston were at the Silver Springs International Film Festival last night in Ocala, Florida. How close is that to Clearwater, Florida, the big base of Scientology? Too lazy to google. Also I’m too busy being revolted by that goddamn thing on his chin.

How much longer will we have to live with it? How much longer will SHE have to live with it?

You know those rumours about him and the gender of massage therapists he prefers? Kinda not hard to believe when you look at that growth. Because no wife wants to have sex with a husband with that growth. That said, no husband wants to have sex with a husband with that growth.

I feel like we have to name it. What should we name it?

Vinny?