This story keeps showing up on all my feeds. At first I dismissed it because I thought it was another John Travolta eats a lot of greasy chicken in the sauna story because, well, that’s not exactly news, but then, as the hits kept repeating, from more and more outlets, I took a closer look and it turns out John did want some greasy chicken only not in the sauna but in an actual KFC. Where his people called ahead to try and make a reservation and were shut down.

John is apparently in England at a Xenu convention, perhaps for a semi-annual no gay maintenance check. The other day, a local KFC received a phone call from the Xenu people requesting a table reservation for “Mr Travolta”.

At a KFC???

When did this happen?

When did KFC become El Bulli??? (Let me stop you right there if you’re about to email me and tell me about the time you got in to El Bulli. I will never get the chance unless they change their minds so I’m in no mood to read your gloat! OK fine, you can gloat a little.)

Anyway, who rings up a KFC and asks for VIP styles???

The moment you decide you want to eat KFC (with all due respect to KFC because I’m always down with an all dark meat box) style becomes irrelevant. The moment you decide you need some fried ass chicken, you are Britney Spears and gel nails with a busted weave eating by the side of the highway which is where KFC is supposed to be enjoyed! In the car! On a road trip!

Unless of course you’re John Travolta. Who prefers his fried chicken in the store, at a table in the corner, roped off and lit by candlelight, staring at a fireman.

KFC has since issued a public apology for turning away John Travolta’s request for special treatment at their establishment. Weak!