Johnny Saves the MTV Movie Awards

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 2, 2008 05:00:11 June 2, 2008 05:00:11

Am so over Mike Myers. In the age of Judd Apatow and Seth Rogen, even as Ben Stiller is still hanging on, and Vince Vaughn too…

Is Mike Myers even relevant anymore?

Hell nah.

So thank Shiloh for Johnny Depp. On so many levels. First… the loins. Johnny Depp is and forever will be the hotness. The Lifetime Hotness. The Hotness that spans decades. In sharp contrast to the gayness that has not managed to span decades… Tom Cruise.

Johnny made a surprise appearance and the GMD had to tag along and pimp himself out too. Awkwardly. Did you watch him with your hands over your face, cringing?

This however is about Johnny. Johnny Depp who, after all these years, is still COOL. He will always be cool – a truth made that much more TRUE at MTV, a network that has spawned stars undeserving of the word “star” – which is why it was a relief to us all that Johnny did not walk the carpet. He did not soil his legend by sharing it with the Heidi Montags, the Paris Hiltons, the nobodies of the business.

When he appeared on stage though they all knew they were in the presence of quivering greatness. Knowing they were not worthy, they leapt out of their chairs, cheering for The One. The Only.

Oh Johnny…

Johnny for All Time.

PS. And his voice! His voice! Vanessa Paradis gets to hear that voice every day of her life! Hate her! Love her!

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