Let’s rewind back to Friday afternoon when it was reported that Amber Heard is indeed engaged to Johnny Depp and it wasn’t important enough for me to come back to the blog because I’d already wrapped up the day. Why? Because there is NO GAME to this.

Depp and Heard spent last week together on the celebrity circuit at Sean Penn’s Haiti fundraiser and then at the Globes. The next day she goes out on her own for dinner and, in the presence of the paps, makes THE MOST OBVIOUS point of hiding a ring on her left hand, leading to speculation that he proposed. Click here for a refresher.

US Weekly then follows up on all the rumours with a confirmation. Remember, US Weekly is a Jann Wenner publication. You know who’s good friends with Jann Wenner? Of course you do. It’s Johnny Depp. Apparently it happened some time ago and they’re only just letting it be known now. Because Amber decided to force the issue.

Johnny once said of not marrying Vanessa Paradis that:

"I never found myself needing that piece of paper. Marriage is really from soul to soul, heart to heart. You don't need somebody to say, okay you're married. If Vanessa wanted to get hitched, why not. But the thing is, I'd be so scared of ruining her last name. She's got such a good last name."

Yeah, so, Amber Depp it is then. Which still won’t help her get the parts that Scarlett Johansson is getting. Sh-t, it might not even help her get the parts that Mrs Justin Timberlake is(n’t) getting.

God, how did Johnny Depp become as much of a f-cking eye-roll as Tom Cruise?

I’m reattaching the shots of Johnny and Amber at Sean Penn’s Haiti gala last week because Jesus, he looks small and pathetic, non?