Interrupting the Critics’ Choice posts to catch up with Johnny Depp, who finally decided to start promoting Mortdecai last night on Jimmy Kimmel. He was not alone. Amber Heard accompanied him to the studio so that he can prove to you that his much younger fiancé still wants him. For now. Look at him. Listen to him. How much longer can Johnny Depp attract on fumes?

There are three clips from the interview below. They cover his usual favourite “this is what makes me so cool” subjects: Hunter S Thompson, Marlon Brando, and Keith Richards. In that drawl that, amazingly, has become even slower. Like your drunk uncle at the end of dinner who can barely open his eyes but won’t shut the f-ck up while telling stories about his youth. Welcome to the next 30 years of your life, Amber Heard.