Johnny Depp was in London last night at the GQ Men of the Year Awards presenting to Iggy Pop. That’s your preferred JDepp hairstyle, right? And he’s clean-shaven. And there are no scarves or feathers, just one piece around his neck, and holy sh-t he’s not wearing mom jeans as his suit actually fits him properly. I’m think he also must have visited his skin technician recently because his face looks fresh and tight.

Better?

Is this working better for you?

I’m looking at those green fingernails and I’m not sure that’s working better for me. Like, I might even prefer Benedict Cumberbatch to Johnny Depp at this point, and this is saying a lot for me because…well… a deep voice and being over 35 years old doesn’t make up for those eyes, Sarah. But I bought these shots because I want to give you the option, the option of saving something of what you used to feel for Tom Hanson.