As you know, it was Amber Heard’s birthday yesterday. So her fiancé, Johnny Depp, had a lot of roses delivered to her. Fine.

Then, last night, he took her to Bauman Rare Books. They picked out some poetry. After that, they probably went back to the hotel to watch black and white movies. At 11:59pm he might have pointed out the window and presented her with her own star, My Yellow Stone, that he had named for her with the celestial registry, or whatever it’s called. Finally, he maybe took out his guitar and performed a song he wrote – only it was spoken word.


Did you know they could make parachute pants out of denim?