Johnny Depp was also at the GQ Awards in London last night to honour his friend Keith Richards. Let’s not fight, OK? You know I adore him. You know he’s a classic. Always. I’m just saying that the eyeliner isn’t working for me, ok? It makes him look even more... puffy. Come on. A little? If you kill the fangirl inside you for a few minutes and look at him clearly, without the loyalty prism filtering out all the bad sh-t, you don’t see that? It’s very subtle. Like Marlon Brando as Stanley Kowalski vs Marlon Brando as Terry Malloy. Which is actually an interesting comparison, considering their relationship. And I’ve often wondered if you could argue that Johnny has seemingly controlled in himself what Brando was unable to do. If you’re interested in old Hollywood and you’re curious about a real legend, you should check out a Brando biography. Somebody: The Reckless Life and Remarkable Career of Marlon Brando is a good one. Brando: The Biography is the really smutty one. Of course I loved it. But his life was so crazy, and he was so crazy, that any biography works, no matter who’s producing it; the subject provides enough drama, it doesn’t need much guiding.

Anyway, that was a massive tangent. My point is it wasn’t Johnny’s best night. You mad at me?

Photos from Dave M. Benett/Eamonn McCormack/