Johnny Depp and the Hollywood Vampires performed in Rio last night. He wore a lot of eyeliner, several necklaces and scarves, red ink on his neck, and thought he looked cool with the cig in his mouth. Doesn’t he though? Isn’t he? The legendary coolness?

Amber Heard joined Johnny on this trip. And yesterday they gave back to the local community, handing out hearing aids with the other band members.

Can’t sh-t on that so I won’t. But I will say that charitable efforts are supposed to enhance, not balance. Like this is what he has to do to make up for the fact that he’s increasingly an embarrassing cliché.

In other Johnny news, US Weekly reports that he sold the yacht that he bought for Vanessa Paradis “to please wife Amber Heard”. The boat is called Vajoliroja, named for their family. Supposedly Amber refused to climb aboard, so Johnny unloaded it. A source tells the magazine that:

“Johnny loved that yacht. But he bought it for Vanessa. And Amber is still jealous of her."

There are a lot of reasons to be jealous of Vanessa Paradis if you are Amber Heard. First, Vanessa was actually, independent of Johnny, a star well before they fell in love. Also Vanessa was with Johnny in his prime. And Amber got Johnny…well… now.

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