The Hollywood Vampires made their big network television debut last night at the Grammys, performing a tribute to Motorhead’s Lemmy Kilmister. The Hollywood Vampires, as you know, consist of several proper rock legends, and Johnny Depp, a rock legend in his own mind who’s ostensibly been hiding his musical talents behind acting because the world wasn’t ready for so much good... until now.

But didn’t he look SO fulfilled? And complete?

Have you ever seen such freedom in his face?

When Johnny Depp decides he needs another island and makes a movie, he prefers roles that obscure his features. Is it because the True Johnny Depp only exists with a guitar in his hands (under several layers of scarves)? It’s only when he’s “jamming” that he can be comfortable in his own skin. And now he’s part of an actual band. Basically your dad’s garage band.

Which, no disrespect to your dad, because I’m sure your dad is awesome. But what makes him awesome is that he and his friends are dorking it up with their Eagles cover songs, and this is endearing. Your dad’s not singing Hotel California thinking that he still could be Don Henley one day. Johnny Depp, on the other hand…

Johnny Depp’s brand has always been “cool”. For 25 years, he was cooler than Tom Cruise, punker than Brad Pitt. Supposedly. Look at him. Is the word “cool” anywhere on your list of adjectives to describe him right now?

Here’s another “cool” moment from him last night. On the carpet he was asked by an Australian reporter about the incident with the dogs, and that politician Barnaby Joyce who threatened to have them killed:

Reporter: “Do you still love us in Australia?”
JD: “Of course, I love Australia.”
Reporter: “Are you going to come back?”
JD: “Absolutely, [indistinct] ... I think that guy Barnaby? He invited me to stay at his house, for some reason.”

Is that, is that…supposed to be a burn?

Thanks Moreen!