Johnny Depp was on Letterman last night. He’s a Letterman regular. Rarely does talk shows but will almost always do Dave. And, noted before, he’s a three segment guest too. As you know, you have to be a Someone to be a three segment guest. Please. Like he needs validation. What the f-ck am I saying?

Anyway, there’s a hole in his hat. I love that. Also he talks about Edward Scissorhands and Marlon Brando and Pacino and the time he went to the school to “mutiny” with the children – so f-cking cute! I like the way he says “kiddies”. On anyone else it would be cheese and pervy.

There’s also a photo of the Brange dog. He is hilarious the way he talks about it. If you know anything about British bulldogs, you know it’s true. And he babysat! The story is the best. I guess you have to love dogs. I’m not telling you at what point that is in the video below though. You don’t get shortcuts with Johnny Depp. Put in your time! It’s good for you! How did Jacques the dog get involved? There was wine and a bet. Watch.

As for Brad Pitt?

He references 21 Jump Street and Brad Pitt doing a guest appearance. Also... well... wait for his reaction when asked whether or not he had a great time making that show. That’s pretty clear, non?

Then he gushes over Angelina. Sweet, smart, funny girl.

Bless Dave for embarrassing him by saying that he and Angelina have been to first base. LOVE.

There’s another video of Johnny and the Jolie on MTV with Josh Horowitz on French phrases. They gave Angelina the easy ones. Which is why she has no personality. Johnny however had the naughtier options. And his clues are adorable.

Anyway, this is for your lunch hour.

Photos from