Johnny Depp is promoting The Rum Diary. He sat down for an interview with Vanity Fair. It’s terrible. Maybe his worst.

First there’s the rape comment. When he’s posing for a photo. When it’s a photo shoot. When the camera is capturing a “sex symbol”, he compared the experience to being violated:

“Well, you just feel like you’re being raped somehow. Raped ... It feels like a kind of weird -- just weird, man. But whenever you have a photo shoot or something like that, it’s like -- you just feel dumb. It’s just so stupid.” (Source)

The images attached to this article were shot by Terry Richardson. It doesn’t look to me like Johnny’s being attacked. Can a good actor make rape look pleasurable?

So he’s bitching about having his picture taken, because people WANT TO SEE HIS PICTURE, because, you know, he’s a Movie Star and all that, and in the next breath? Well, he talks about money. How much of it he has. And it’s an obscene amount of money. Like, it’s been reported that he made $300 million alone from Pirates 4 this summer. Just that one. Not including the 3 that came before. Not including Alice in Wonderland, the Chocolate Factory, not including all his other paycheques. But he’s not greedy, no. Don’t you ever say that about Johnny Depp. He’s just, he’s just a loving father:

“Basically, if they’re going to pay me the stupid money right now, I’m going to take it. I have to. I mean, it’s not for me. Do you know what I mean? At this point, it’s for my kids. It’s ridiculous, yeah, yeah. But ultimately is it for me? No. No. It’s for the kids.”  

Great. All parents make sacrifices for their kids. Some work 3 jobs. Some clean toilets. Some commute 3 hours a day. The reward: their kids hopefully go to school, get a job.

Johnny? Johnny has to go to photo shoots. Have people fuss over his hair and makeup. Has to stand still for a long time. Suck in his cheekbones. Squint at the camera. Chain smoke every five minutes. And his reward?

His kids inherit more money than they’ll ever need.


F-ck off. Shut up. Sit DOWN.

You don’t get to be one of those assholes. Please don’t be one of those assholes. Be grateful for the money. Be humble about the money. Don’t talk about the f-cking money. Go get dressed up in your weird little outfits and dance around with the children. Mumble and stutter like you’re an awkward artist who fell on fortune by accident. Anything, ANYTHING but this.

For more on Johnny Depp in Vanity Fair including what he said about trying out Scientology, click here.