That’s how the People’s Choice Awards are titled: Favourite Dramatic Movie Actor. And since this is determined by the people, and we, ostensibly, are the people, Johnny Depp is our Favourite Dramatic Movie Actor. Pause.

He used to be.

Not even that long ago, he totally was.

Now he’s Le Sauvage, in his heart the rocker who should be winning awards for his rocking instead of for his acting.

Since Johnny did not walk the carpet, perhaps to avoid I Can’t Ariana Grande’s brother, his wife, “Amanda” Heard, wasn’t there. If even Amanda can’t be bothered for the People’s Choice…

Is all I’m saying.

Anyway, while accepting his award, Johnny made a joke about dancing. And then he was like, “don’t tempt me”. Oh but no, let’s tempt him. Because that’s actually a side of Johnny that could go a long way in bringing me back. If he’s ridiculous when he’s trying to be cool, maybe he’ll be cool when he’s trying to be ridiculous?