Johnny Depp spent the weekend in Japan promoting Dark Shadows. You know they love him there. They come through for him every time there. And he’ll need them to again because, well, The Avengers owns his ass; The Avengers owns everyone’s ass.

Dark Shadows opened in second position at the box office this weekend to only $28 million. ONLY $28 million? Yes, ONLY. Let me put it in perspective for you:

The Vow, starring Channing Tatum and Rachel McAdams, took in OVER $30 million in FEBRUARY.

So, yeah, no, there are no excuses. There’s no spinning it in a more flattering way. This sucked for Johnny. You can blame it mostly on the superheroes, sure, but, well, it’s also not a great movie. Like I said last week -- is Johnny Depp even trying anymore?

Wait.

Yes.

He does try. He tries to accessorise. Particularly around the neck. Like, he’s not just wearing a t-shirt and jeans. He’s not NOT caring. This is CARING. This is caring so much with the ten necklaces and the 5 scarves and the hats and the jackets and the belt chains just so...

It’s as much time as Justin Bieber spends on his hair is all I’m saying. Maybe more.

And maybe this is what audiences are feeling but are having a hard time admitting. I’m having a hard time with it too. I have loved Johnny Depp for a long, LONG time. But even the most hardcore of Depp loyalists have to admit - it’s been a sh-tty couple of years, hasn’t it?