When did we start looking to fragrance ads to learn the meaning of life? Is that what you want from your fragrance ad? Is that what you expect to see when you watch a commercial selling something that makes you smell nice?

Brad Pitt tried to illuminate the universe for us in his Chanel ad. And now …Johnny Depp for Dior. If you haven’t already, check it out and I’ll meet you below, afterwards:

The fragrance is called Sauvage. And Johnny is Bad To The Bone. Um, yeah, thanks Mr Obvious. We get it. He’s raw, he’s real, he’s the earth, bruh. He’s too legit to quit…

Being a rock star?

That’s what he wants on his business card: Johnny Depp, rock star. Sure. But if we’re talking raw and real, what he actually is is an actor. Someone needs to remind him. That he’s an actor who …Oh My God… needs to stop imitating Leonard Cohen. (If you don’t understand that reference it’s because you didn’t waste 8 weeks of your life on True Detective Season 2 and for this I congratulate and envy you.)

The Sauvage Depp is looking for the way. He doesn’t know. Neither does the coyote because even the coyote is like, just sell the goddamn perfume and get out of my f-cking desert. Johnny has to dig though. Because he’s searching for something….only to realise that the search and the purge are one in the same. He can feel what he can’t see which ends up being magic. If that’s the case, JK Rowling did it a lot better. Also Lev Grossman (have you read those books?)

So what’s the takeaway from all of this? For me, two things:

It’s the best he’s looked in a while and that’s a shame because all of that beauty is buried in bullsh-t.

And also… they did a great job designing the Sauvage bottle. If there’s any reason to buy it, that would be it, and they’d have saved themselves millions on Johnny’s fee.