He doesn’t do it for me but some crazy bitch always sends me hate mail whenever I rag on his pansy ass so he must do it for someone. And I suppose, in a theatrical, the-cameras-are-rolling romantic comedy kind of way, Jude Law has a certain flavour …if that’s your thing.

Check it out – he’s now being linked to a German model called Susan Hoecke. She’s 26, very attractive, and they’ve been on a series of dates, with key moments captured by the cameras delivering photos perfect for a feature film “first bloom” montage as Nat King Cole’s Let’s Fall in Love plays in the background…

Textbook, non?

The awkward sheepish walk – not too far apart, not too close together but wanting to be closer together. And then the “lean” over dinner, shoulders pitched forward, elbows on the table, hands over mouth, not covering his mouth but drawing attention to his mouth, like – this mouth is going to kiss you later and you’re gonna love it – followed of course by several glasses of wine, maybe two or three bottles, and the giggling… giggly flirtation leading to the part in the movie when he kisses her for the first time. And scene.

That, to me, just about sums up Jude Law. Hard to quiver over a script, you know what I mean?

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