Any time Julia Roberts is there, hers in the best table, OK? This is the rule and it’s sacred. And when she’s seated next to Leonardo DiCaprio? Please. There’s no argument here. You won’t win this argument.

How can you win this argument when she has her glasses on, probably lecturing him about something, or laughing about Jennifer Lopez’s waiter-bear, as her husband sits mute on the other side? And then there’s her dress. She barely bothered, you know? She doesn’t think she has to bother anymore because she’s Julia Roberts. She’s Julia Roberts so, naturally, she gets to present the most important award of the night. And, you’ll note, she only presents to her friends. This after all is the Hollywood Foreign Press Association. They probably assured her of it beforehand.  Yes, Julia, you’ll be presenting to your friend, George Clooney. And you can spend the rest of the night nattering at Leo about why he only dates Victoria’s Secret models. What? You don’t think she would? She would. And he couldn’t say sh-t back to her.

Otherwise, Leo was practically invisible the whole night. By the way, not that this is, ahem, related or anything, but does anyone know why Orlando Bloom and Miranda Kerr showed up? It’s a little embarrassing. As far as I know, he wasn’t connected to any of the films at all. So where do you seat him? Certainly not close to the front. The young wife wants to go out and party and he has to supervise. The young wife might be looking at all those more successful faces up near the stage, and wondering who’ll help her sit up there next time.