Once upon at time that goose guffaw coming out of those horse teeth was too much to bear. But that was an easier, gentler time, before the worldwide spread of Hollywood Ebola and smut took a diseased turn.

Julia’s bitch now pales in comparison to the antics of the Slut Brigade and Dina Lohan too. Also helped that she seemed to recognise her own overhype, retreating to New Mexico to birth her babies and atone for the homewrecking while others unsuccessfully tried to take her place.

So far however there has yet to be a worthy replacement for Julia Roberts who just turned 40 and looks as good, if not better, than she did a decade ago.

The new cover of Vanity Fair and the pages inside are even more spectacular. No one really quite captivates like Julia which is why it was so funny this weekend reading a New York Times review of Jennifer Garner on Broadway using the same word – captivating – to describe Taupe.


A bit of an exaggeration, non? And an adjective thrown around too loosely especially in comparison to America’s True Sweetheart. There is only one Julia Roberts and now that she has her babies, the MiniVan Majority loves her more than ever.

In the article, Julia totally goes on a little Rossum, talks about fulfillment, about how her husband and children have completed her, about how she still wants to look “pretty” for him…almost a little over-compensatory, non?

“(Marrying him was) the most correct decision I’ve ever made in my life—not that it was even a decision, because it just overtakes you. My whole body knew. (I still want) to look pretty for him! But he’s so great and supportive. He’s a real creative force I like to be next to…. Sometimes intellectually you’re on the same plane as a person, but you don’t feel connected to them in your soul, or you don’t like their politics or the way they tell jokes, but with Danny it’s all there. It’s still that way. When he comes home, I always do this [shepinches her cheeks] so I’ll look pretty.”

As for more babies, unlike the Pitts, Julia says three is enough.

“At this point I’m having so much fun with them. You only have so much energy and you want to put so much energy into each child. I wouldn’t know how to have five kids. And they’re a really good trio, these three.”

And by the far the most interesting answer – on the paps photographing celebrities and their children.

“I just feel like it’s so demeaning the way they behave, and I hate the fact that I even put any of my energy into thinking about it or being stressed about it. And really, more than anything, it just has to do with my kids. There’s no reason to take pictures of celebrities’ children other than for
people to say, “Oh, they’re cute.” I think magazines shouldn’t run pictures of people’s kids. I have a problem with that. I also have a problem with the whole notion that, if I have Henry in a sling, I’m hiding him. He’s a baby and I’m carrying him around, and so’s the lady across the street. I get
pissed off, because I think that it’s inhuman to chase a woman with her children.”

In her case, fair enough…she kept them hidden, she moved away, she made it work so that her kids could stay out of it. But tell that to Jennifer Garner. And Denise Richards. And the MiniVan baby craze. These days, the babies make the mommy’s careers. The baby bump kicks off a whole new frenzy.

No one has to live in LA. Just sayin’…

New Vanity Fair on stands Wednesday.