If George Clooney is the classic Movie Star, male, what does that make Julia Roberts? This is something we CANNOT fight about. I know you wouldn’t fight me on this – the fact that she is a proper Movie Star, one of the biggest, and, always, one of the best. Best can be annoying. Best can make you roll your eyes. Best can make you RAGE. Yes, totally, all of it. This is what she’s best at. This is what she’s always been the best at.

Of course Julia had to take her shoes off – again – at the BAFTA LA Brittania Awards while presenting to her friend George Clooney. Of course she did. Of course she had to make her speech mostly about how she didn’t understand why he, an American, is receiving the Brittania Kubrick Award:

“There are two obvious reasons I was chosen to do this. One, Brad Pitt was out of town and two, Matt Damon was in town but unavailable… And BAFTA-LA, what is that? I mean it’s so cool for you, George but it’s so confusing for me.” 



And look at her, even when she was at the tables and not on stage, she appointed herself as the sun, around whom everyone else has to rotate, even George himself, who indulges her, naturally, and no one else should matter. Who else could possibly matter? She’s the most popular girl in school but unlike the most popular girl in school who became a loser as an adult, she stayed popular and will always be popular and she’ll keep reminding you how popular she is because she knows how much that picks your ass. I say this with love, and no sarcasm, not at all, not even a little.

I like my Julia exactly how she is. I would never, ever want her to change. What good is a Movie Star who is constantly apologising for being a Movie Star?