June 8, 2012 - Smutty Shout-Outs

Lainey Posted by Lainey at June 8, 2012 15:12:11 June 8, 2012 15:12:11

Sasha, really hoping you can help with this.  My best friend & maid of honour was in a LONG term relationship. They ended things on a bad note around the winter of last year, and have 'rekindled' in the last few months.

They have been discussing the idea of moving across the world for a year to do some travelling and thinks now would be a better time than ever. He also thinks it will help them get back to where they were before the break-up, relationship-wise.

I have several issues with this:

1) I'm selfish. My wedding is next year and this move would mean that my best friend and maid of honour is halfway across the world (she said they'd come back - or she'd come back without him - at least 2 weeks before).

2) He won't officially say they're back together, but he's asking her to move around the world and give up her career, basically, for him.

3) They broke up because she was unhappy with their relationship, and it doesn't seem like he is willing to change, so I worry that while this may seem like what she wants in the short term, it might not be enough long term

Am I being totally selfish here? Maybe she really IS happy with this guy. I can't tell if wanting her to be around for my wedding, coupled with the fact that I'm not really this guy's biggest fan, is clouding my judgement about what is best for HER. T


Oh wait, did I? Oh yes, I think I just caught a little bridezilla in there. T, at least you can admit that you’re being selfish, but just in case you need me to reconfirm it, here goes: YOU’RE BEING SELFISH.

Look, I would have bought a different story if the main point of your letter was concern for the actual well-being of your friend’s emotions, but seeing as you book ended that sh-t with your wedding, I think it’s safe to say that you’re really more concerned about your big day. Which listen, I get because of course the most important part of a wedding is seeing the people you love most in your life. But what's your beef? I mean, she’s promised not only to be there, but she’s come back two weeks early!!! So T, seriously, chill the f-ck out.

Point two: I know you’re not a total asshole. I know you really do care about the relationship she's in, but there’s really nothing you can do right now. It’s her life, she’s going on the trip and for right now, she’s invested in the dude. If this guy was a total mess, then yes, I would have suggested you say something. Right now though, it seems that this boils down to you "just not being his ‘biggest fan’", but it's her decision and you need to butt out.

Who knows what will actually happen between them. I'm not saying she's got a clear road ahead; either way though, your only role as a best friend is to be there for her no matter how it pans out. Ya dig?

Thanks for writing in and keep your LIFE + STYLE questions coming to [email protected]


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