Justified 3.10: “We are not your savages”

Sarah Posted by Sarah at March 21, 2012 14:50:07 March 21, 2012 14:50:07

Some deputies are trying to plant drugs in ShelbyΓÇÖs truck but he busts them and runs them off. He says heΓÇÖs got only a couple years to live and wants to accomplish something before he dies, thus running for sheriff. Total crock of sh*t of course. In the world of Justified, everyone lies. Johnny Crowder suggests ΓÇ£putting the fear of GodΓÇ¥ into the sheriffΓÇÖs sister in revenge.

Boyd has a face to face with Limehouse who delivers the location of the sheriffΓÇÖs sister, and the county clerk. IΓÇÖd like for Limehouse to side with Boyd because I kind of think everyone except Boyd and his people are going to die at the end of all this, and Limehouse is an interesting character. HeΓÇÖs kind of creepy and all-knowing.

ItΓÇÖs Stephen Root as the crazy judge! Raylan is trying to keep Dickie Bennett in jail and wants the judge to keep him there. The judge thinks itΓÇÖs a revenge thing, because of that one time Dickie tried to kill Raylan with a baseball bat, but itΓÇÖs probably more Raylan trying to keep Dickie alive, since the moment he gets out of jail, everyoneΓÇÖs going to be after him for MagsΓÇÖ money.

TABLESCAPES. Boyd gets the drop on Hannah, the sheriffΓÇÖs sister, and the first words out of his mouth are, ΓÇ£I have been sitting here, enjoying your TABLESCAPES.ΓÇ¥ Please, show me another bad guy who uses the word TABLESCAPES while making it sound like a death threat. Boyd declines to rough up Hannah, and instead offers her a job. HeΓÇÖs crafty like that.

The AUSA also declines to help Raylan keep Dickie in jail. Countdown to Dickie getting whacked in 10…9…

Boyd running a political campaign is frightening. It’s crooked, the-dead-are-voting stuff, but he’s good at it. He knows Dickie is getting out of jail. 8…7…

Raylan wants the guy who saw Dickie kill people (I no longer remember who killed whom last season) to come clean about what Dickie did. He says if Raylan can get his granny to say that Mags threatened herΓÇöMags brokered the peace in a family disputeΓÇöthen heΓÇÖll come clean about Dickie. Damn these Bennetts! They never go away! TheyΓÇÖre like cockroaches!

And Granny had a stroke and can no longer speak. She communicates to Raylan that she wants two milkshakes, then proceeds to dump one on him when he brings them back. Poor Raylan. He cannot catch a break.

ThereΓÇÖs a show about people who dig junk out of your backyard. WTF?

The AUSA suggests that Raylan go before the judge himself to try and keep Dickie in jail. Raylan is reluctant, saying that testifying has never gone well for him. Oh now I have to see this…

Napier won the election. How long before someone assassinates him, then? Quarles wants Napier to vacate his office so Quarles can have it. Seriously? Did Napier think Quarles would buy him an election and then let him run off on his own to be sheriff? Is Napier a little girl who got a pony for Christmas? No, heΓÇÖs on QuarlesΓÇÖ payroll now. HeΓÇÖs the bottom bitch!

The county clerk interrupts Napier and Quarles. So hereΓÇÖs BoydΓÇÖs play: Hannah, the sheriffΓÇÖs sister, was placed on the clerkΓÇÖs payroll, and Kentucky has nepotism laws which means that, as the relative of a county employee, Napier is ineligible to hold a county office. So Shelby wins the election by default.

Quarles takes this badly.

Boyd delivers another of his awesome monologues to Quarles. Seriously, this show is worth it just for BoydΓÇÖs speechifying. Quarles says nothing but he gives Boyd that crazy smile of his. No good comes from that smile, ever.

Oh great, Quarles is getting high on Oxy.

I like how Wynn Duffy doesnΓÇÖt like to look away from Quarles. ItΓÇÖs not fear, exactly, more like watching a sleeping tiger to make sure it stays asleep. A kid with a gun interrupts them. HeΓÇÖs friends with the rent boy Quarles tortured (killed?). Even stoned, Quarles manages to talk his way out of a sticky situation. He tells a really sad story about killing his father because he was prostituting Quarles to pay for his heroin habit. True story? Maybe. But itΓÇÖs Justified. Everyone lies.

I like this sassy bartender Raylan is hanging out with. She calls him ΓÇ£TroubleΓÇ¥ and ΓÇ£SadnessΓÇ¥. She gives good banter.

Quarles and Duffy show up at the bar. Quarles, still loaded, starts talking sh*t with Raylan. Quarles issues a death threat, Raylan responds by shooting a hole in the ceiling and clearing the bar. Raylan challenges Quarles to a gunfight, because apparently weΓÇÖre in 1876. Oh, and the sassy bartender actually owns the bar. Better and better. Quarles backs out, then Raylan bangs the sassy bartender/owner. Sounds about right.

Oh goodie, RaylanΓÇÖs giving his testimony. Art and the AUSA are enjoying watching him stumbling through his speech without talking about Dickie beating him a baseball bat. And then Raylan is all, ΓÇ£Oh whatever just let him go, IΓÇÖll be there to arrest him when he inevitably gets in trouble. Also, heΓÇÖll lead us to the Bennett money.ΓÇ¥

Limehouse wants Errol to bring Dickie to the holler as soon as he sees him. Man, this is going get so messy.

Quarles is doing yet more drugs and acting crazy. Oh man, now heΓÇÖs torturing that poor kid that confronted him earlier. He really doesnΓÇÖt handle stress well at all. The final shot of the episode is Neal McDonoughΓÇÖs naked butt. So thatΓÇÖs what that looks like.

RaylanΓÇÖs body count so far: 1 ┬╜

Tags: Justified
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