Are you going to deny that you didn’t notice his hand on her thigh while he’s taking a picture of her? Fine. I’ll admit it for all of us.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez have been in Mexico together the last few days. They were photographed yesterday admiring each other in the sun. Allow me please to appreciate the relative modesty of her bikini, if there is such a thing. I feel confident in saying that her bikini top is supportive enough so as to eliminate almost any chance of an accident or a slip and the bottom is so full I don’t actually know what her ass crack looks like. Come on. In some circles this would be considered straight up conservative.

But I’m most curious about what else is on that camera. When they break up, will it be leaked? Oh I hope so. And, errrm, are they officially sharing a room or unofficially sharing a room? It’s funny I was talking to a colleague who’s going to her boyfriend’s parents’ to spend the holidays. She’s 30, he’s 35. And they have to stay in separate bedrooms. Don’t get me wrong. I get it, I totally do. It’s their house, it’s their rules. I’m just saying I rather enjoy the juxtaposition of the Justin Biebers of the world, 17, cohabitating in hotel rooms with his gf while proper adults have to wait until well after lights out before sneaking down the hall to cuddle up in a single bed.