I did not want to wake up this morning. It has been a decadent holiday break. But I laughed for a long, long, LONG time looking at these photos. Hysterically.

Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez spent New Year’s on a boat together in the Caribbean. As you can see, there was some romance happening. Of the teen variety. I particularly love the shot of Selena with her eyes closed leaning against the railing while Bieber leans in to kiss her from behind. Right now it’s the best thing in my life.

I mean, the weight of it all, you know? The weight of their LOVE. It’s too much. And it’s so much.

Pain.

Can you imagine? The fans? They already threatened to end Kim Kardashian for kidding about being his gf. And now…

He’s caressing Selena Gomez in a bikini.

Selena needs protection. More than condoms.

What?

Well, his hand is sitting rather comfortably on her ass. They’re horny at 16 almost 17. I remember. And this boy doesn’t hear No very often. I still don’t understand what an 18 year old girl is doing here.

You have a teenager at home? This is why she hates the world today. They want to die. You think I’m exaggerating? How’s this for exaggerating. Click here. I’m telling you, fan-ness is getting out of control.

UPDATE: the photos have been taken down. Click here if you missed seeing them this morning.