Adrien Brody and Justin Bieber were both at AMFAR in Cannes last night. The smarm, right? The smarm.

I know your first inclination is to say that JB has to be bigger douche because he’s, well, he’s JB. And Adrien Brody won an Oscar. Really?

Because Adrien Brody also wore this:

Are you telling me it’s not a tight call? It’s a tight call.

Also, Adrien Brody is, like, 41 years old. At the very least, JB has youth on his side. We all had an asshole in us at 20. It’s not that I think JB’s asshole is curable. This punk will be an asshole for life. But an asshole looks a lot worse at Brody’s age than it does at JB’s.

Douche-Off this for me then, would you?

Who’s your sh-t and who’s your diarrhoea?

Wait. I forgot. JB posted this vom to Instagram today:

I can’t actually decide.