I really do mean those caps. I really do feel relief. That Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez are still together. The UK Sun reported on Saturday that she dumped him because she didn’t like his friends. As usual, the UK Sun got it wrong. Not surprisingly, the UK Sun’s original link to the Bieber/Gomez split story is now blank. They must have buried it once they saw the two last night at Teen Choice sitting next to each other as an eager Bieber seemingly couldn’t wait to get his girl alone. He is, after all, 17. And if it’s been any longer than a day since... well... there’s obviously only one thing on his mind.

Taken on their own, I don’t give a sh-t about either Bieber or Selena. I find them, singularly, almost insufferable. But together? Please. All over it. Totally obsessed. Sasha and I are so mature we spent several minutes bbm-ing each other about them last night. I would reprint those messages for you here but, um, most of it isn’t so appropriate. The sanitised version of it is that I kept saying I want to watch them kiss and Sasha said she’d be devastated if/when they break up and we both agree that they’re totally doing it. Yes, we are 12. But what is it about eyeballing young love that makes (some of) us feel this way? Or maybe Sasha and I are just too desperate to find a replacement for Rihanna and Chris Brown. They were my sh-t. And then he had to f-ck it all up.

As for Bieber and Selena - he is into her the way you’re only into one person in your life the first time you’re really into someone and I don’t think that’s fake. Justin was into Britney like that. Winona was into Johnny like that. River was into Martha like that.

It’s the only way he could have enjoyed her performance. I certainly didn’t. But look at him! Come on. You don’t think it’s a little bit cute how he’s givin’er? Just watching him givin’er, you’d think it was actually a good song.

See? I won’t lie. Watching that clip makes me a little giggly. SHUT UP Sasha, you know you’re all up in there too.

Photos from Kevin Mazur/TCA 2011/Jason Merritt/Gettyimages.com