Carly Rae Jepsen is on Ellen today. Come on, admit it. You LOVE Call Me Maybe. Gawker called it the “new perfect pop song”. It is. So Carly Rae from Canadian Idol is blowing up. Thanks Justin Bieber.

What?

It’s true.

Maybe it would have happened eventually but it wouldn’t have exploded like this.

So here’s Bieber, with Carly Rae, on Ellen’s couch referring to her as “his” artist. Yes it’s a statement of fact. She’s signed to his label. But I bristled at the phrasing (initiated by Ellen).

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“His” artist.

He’s 18!

But am I just a crusty old f-ck? A relic in her 30s having a hard time accepting that the new world is owned and operated by teenagers? I mean, without him the video isn’t viewed over 25 million times on YouTube. Without him it’s not getting played over and over again on the radio. Without him she’s not on Ellen.

It’s just...

In some states he’s not even allowed to drink yet. So, you know, the use of the possessive pronoun in reference to another performer 8 years his senior is a little hard to swallow.

Whatever.

Maybe it’s time to give up. And it’s Friday. And the sun is out. And “before you came into my life I missed you so bad” is a great lyric. And it’s too hard to be crusty listening to the song and watching the video.

By the way, have you seen the original video? If no, it’s the second one below. Watch all the way through, right to the end.