Justin Bieber is putting out a Christmas album. They’ve released the video for a song called Mistletoe. Please. Of course Sasha, Dean, and I have already squ-emailed about it. Of course we are obsessed. Dean had to get all sensible and sh-t and point out that the proceeds go to charity so we should feel good about our stagnated maturation but only after he confessed that “there are basically no celeb Christmas songs that I don’t like” which obviously added another dimension of hilarity to the whole situation. Sasha just wants to be called Shawty all day. And pretend she’s Selena Gomez.

But, but, but...

He totally grew a little! And his voice is lower, it really, really is!

Note also that he signs his full name “Justin Bieber” on the love Christmas card to the girl he’s pretending to be dating. How much do you love this?

Other quick observations:

Justin and Fake Selena are better kissers than Britney and her boyfriend Jason.

That little blonde needs to stop touching his shoulder if she knows what’s good for her.

Lindsay Lohan should borrow Justin Bieber’s teeth.