Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber went to England together after the MTV EMAs the other night so he could turn on the Christmas lights at the Westfield Shopping Centre yesterday. Before that though, they were photographed touring a football facility where JB appeared to be trying to cheer up a pouty Selena with his bangs.

Please.

You know you love it.

What does he have to be sorry for? Maybe he didn’t hold her hand quickly enough when they were getting out of the car. Maybe he didn’t let her sit down first on the private plane. Maybe he forgot that she wanted some sparkly stickers at the vending booth and now they can’t go back to get them. Maybe he f-cked the sh-t out of a skank and is now the father of her baby.

Whatever he did, he’s trying to cute his way out of it.

So what about those breakup rumours?

Well, seeing as they haven’t broken up (yet), the tabloids and others will soon start making up reasons why not. Like this: Justin has threatened Selena that if she leaves him, he’ll leak all the nude pics of her that he has on his phone. There’s video too. Total blackmail. That’s why she’s staying. (I am actively conjuring this. Please stand by.)

Or...

Selena can’t leave Justin because his manager promised that if she stays, he’ll make sure xyz producer sends her all his best new songs.

Or ...

Selena won’t leave Justin because his record label has already guaranteed that if she sticks it through with him, they’ll arrange it so that she’ll win some awards. And his agent has already lined up new movie offers to keep her career thriving, but only as his girlfriend.

Meanwhile, until the next bombshell allegation, Justin and Selena are now in Paris together to promote his Believe charity drive.