Have we been played for nine months?

Late Spring last year we were told that Jennifer Aniston’s new boyfriend was called Justin Theroux; she’s been fronting like they didn’t hook up during filming of Wanderlust because he had a girlfriend at the time but whatever... the point is, we watched them through the summer, into the fall in New York, all leading up to now, as Wanderlust opens this weekend, OSCAR WEEKEND.

Would Justin Theroux be getting all this press, invited onto The Ellen DeGeneres Show if not for the fact that he is “comma, dating Jennifer Aniston”? And, um, as such, since they’re a couple, we should totally go see the movie to see this on screen...?

Oh but he doesn’t want to talk about it.


He kinda didn’t talk about it with Ellen. In an episode that airs today, it turns out that Justin can break-dance. And, like, it’s Jen’s favourite thing ever. Only he doesn’t actually say it by name. Her name is “my girlfriend, I don’t know if any of you guys know her...”


Is supposed to be funny...?

I’m not sure it worked. I’m not even sure the clap-eager audience thought it worked.

What is that silver accessory hanging off his pocket? What’s with the hipster waiter uniform? Is that supposed to offset his tan? Is that the wardrobe of a man who would never conspire with this lady to exploit his relationship in exchange for the success of his movie? Because, sure, I am totally, totally feeling that.