Last week I wrote about Justin Theroux’s dick in The Leftovers because my friend N that day was obsessed with why it keeps waving at the audience when his character is running on the show. Many of you write back in agreement. Evidently the size of Theroux’s penis is a topic of conversation on the internet. And on Conan O’Brien’s staff.

Theroux was on Conan last night and Conan decided to ask him about his massive cock. Like, why can’t that sh-t be contained because it’s distracting from the storyline. And Theroux’s explanation?

His penis is so big that the show producers instructed wardrobe to provide him with TWO pairs of underwears to shoot his running scenes now. In other words, what you’ve been looking at isn’t even the whole thing. The whole thing is a LOT more …MORE.

I guess that’s supposed to be attractive. Really? Like I’ve said before, I want to feel it, sure. I want to know it’s happening down there, of course. But that can be accomplished on an average size. If that thing is such a monster that it can’t be held back by double Calvins, I’m more afraid than aroused.