-If there’s anyone who would say YES PLEASE ME ME ME ME ME ME ME ME to this title, it’s Justin Timberlake. Photo shoot? No problem. Exclusive interview? No problem.
-Trolls and that goddamn song, Can’t Stop The Feeling. He can’t stop promoting it. He would use this as an excuse to be all like, oh, I’m doing it for the movie, when, really, he’s doing it for his own damn self, as usual.
-Oscar. JT wants that Best Song Oscar. Getting in hard with the MiniVan Majority, having them onside, will help him convince those old ass boring Oscar voters that this is the public’s vote. (Please Lin-Manuel Miranda. PLEASE DON’T LET HIM DO THIS.)
-He’d be desperate for it, did I mention this already?
-He wants it the most, did I mention this already?
-PEOPLE Magazine couldn’t ask for a more willing, more thirsty spokesperson for their annual honour, have I mentioned this already?
-I mean, there are none, really, if you consider what PEOPLE Magazine would be looking for. He would basically song and dance his way across social media and all media bragging about this and helping them sell copies because he’s that hard for it, have I mentioned this already?
-The only argument against then would be that it’s TOO F-CKING OBVIOUS.
-Also: given that there’s only, in the history of PEOPLE’s Sexiest Man Alive, been one man of colour who’s claimed the title. And at time when diversity is being demanded, when there are so many other options, picking Justin Timberlake is a, well, it’s really boring. And, to me anyway, straight up offensive. #NeverForget
Odds: 5 to 1