Pip isn’t on the cover of Vanity Fair…in person, that is. But he is very much on the cover in spirit. In fact, you can practically hear him singing on the cover in spirit. Because Pipsqueak Justin Timberlake is the ONLY reason why Shelf Ass Jessica Biel has somehow schemed her way onto the list of 10 Fresh Faces of 2008.

First of all, her ass ain’t fresh. Second, if this is a representation of talent, Shelfy needs to step off. How insulting for Amy Adams and Emily Blunt to have to share space with this fraud. How ridiculous that a girl whose only claim to fame (other than her boyfriend) was one of the most poorly written shows on television – Seventh Heaven.

Do you know that Seventh Heaven scripts don’t get re-drafted? That they shoot after only one pass at the teleplay? NO EDITS. NOTHING. Translation: ZERO quality control.

What the F&CK is wrong with Vanity Fair???

And why is America Ferrera all the way at the back? Or Ellen Page for that matter???

Two years from now, will Shelfy’s inexplicable presence on this cover be justified? I’ll be surprised if she’s still Justified by next Christmas.

Here’s JT in New York last night at Butter, after being relieved from boyfriend duty in London last week for a mandatory “candid” photo shoot to show the world that he’s no cheater. Only I hear a certain Sophia Bush caught his eye last night. The hypnotic hold of the Shelf Ass must be wearing off.

Love it when he uses hair relaxer… Pippy looks cute,non?

photos from Splashnewsonline.com