Justin Timberlake hosted the ESPYs last night and tried to be funny. Pipsqueak performed an “original rock opera”, paying homage to everyone from Tiger Woods to the Boston Celtics, and belittling Jessica Simpson, which wouldn’t be the first time. A few years ago, Pippy hit up Saturday Night Live and played her for the moron she is.

So there he was, singing and dancing, entertaining a room full of athletes, like a little punk wanting to play with the big boys...talented, yes, but cool? JT has never been cool.

He is, however, according to Shelfy’s publicist at least, on the verge of proposing to Jessica Biel. My sources tell me there’s a hot script floating around and Shelf Ass did not make the first list.

Click here for more Justin at the ESPYs.