Truly. They deserve each other. Because he’s as obnoxious as she is.

Pippy Justin Timberlake was in New York on Friday promoting Calloway’s new driver and was slightly annoyed when reporters bothered him about marrying his Shelf Ass:

"Now that's a dumb question.”

His bad attitude did not improve when he was asked a legitimate golf question either. Why do you like playing the game? His flippant punk bitch response?

"It's easy.”


And then there’s Shelfy. Jessica Biel wasn’t with him at the Calloway presentation but she seems to be everywhere else promoting Easy Virtue. In an interview with The Independent, Shelf claims she “fights prejudice every day”. Something about the way her ass holds her back, and having to overcome it. As such, she’s aspiring to be like Angelina Jolie, with a diverse portfolio of roles in which to stretch her abilities.

Shelfy… please!

Sit DOWN. And while you’re at it, take off your clothes!

Because really…isn’t that really how she’s arrived at where she is? By showing off her Shelf Ass and phoning the paps?

Biel insists she isn’t down with that aspect of celebrity:

“It's weird, to be honest. People follow you all day long, taking photos of you walking out of offices and coffee shops. It feels strange and invasive. It's just a job and it's an amazing job, and has incredible perks... In my opinion, I just have a really great job and that's what it is for me."

Let me state this clearly so that there’s no doubt.

Jessica Biel is a tipper. She TIPS THEM OFF. You can’t f-cking complain about the “invasiveness” of it when you’re ASKING THEM TO DO IT!!!

She claims however that she regrets using her body a few years back for publicity. That infamous photo shoot as an attempt to be released from 7th Heaven, remember? Shelfy calls it a mistake. In typical Shelfy fashion, she blames others for what happened, insisting to Entertainment Weekly that she was taken advantage of:

"That photoshoot was just a really bad decision on my part and I got myself involved with people who weren't thinking about me and were instead thinking about what kind of a story they could get out of it.”

What happened to the art of the follow up question? If it were me for EW, I’d have come back with:

But that’s the only thing you’re known for now… your body. In retrospect, Jessica, didn’t it end up working for you? And isn’t that what the Bond Girl is all about?

But then again, journalists aren’t allowed to press the stars.

As for the Bond Girl…yes, it’s true. She’s revealed that she auditioned for Bond Quantum:

“I auditioned for Quantum of Solace. I actually had a good audition. It was that sexy, “I’m cool and I’m going to pretend like I really don’t like you, but I’m definitely going to sleep with you.” Maybe next time. We’ll see.”

Shelf Ass wasn’t good enough for Bond.

Does that make your life?

And finally… Shelf Ass on Pip. The writer for The Independent was given strict instructions not to ask about Justin Timberlake because, as she put it, “personal life and work life is completely different”.

Oh but is it? Why then, during this radio interview did she talk about the time she was caught by him on the phone listening to his music when they first started dating? Why then has her co-star Ben Barnes been instructed to talk about Pippy all the time while promoting this film? About Pip’s presence on the set and about his superior dance moves?


Because Easy Virtue is a hard sell. Release has now been pushed back to May 2009, tentatively, with some insiders saying it might be pulled altogether straight to DVD in North America.

Can you imagine? What’s being called the “performance of her career” still might not be good enough for theatres?

Quick Justin…work your magic. Propose next week.

Also attached – Pipsy and Shelf leaving Southern Hospitality last night in New York.

Photos from and