Had the same problem before getting married – every guy I’ve ever dated with the exception of maybe, MAYBE, two…all douches. Like disgusting. Revolting. Sick.

Then again, I’ve never had her qualifications.

But Britney… Britney could aim so much higher. But still she persists. Still her goldiggers have to be the worst golddiggers. The ugliest goldiggers. The beater-wearing golddiggers. And as you can see, her new beau is no exception - quite obviously in it to take what KFed couldn’t to the tune of several million.

On the shallow superficial side, at least he could be hot, you know? At least if he was hot, she’d actually be getting something out of it. But this f&cker is so not hot. He is in fact, as the hilarious MK from dlisted.com calls him: the Geico Caveman.

And indeed, MK makes an astute observation: dude does look rather… under-evolved, non? Those ears poking out from his hair and the jawline and the sloping way he walks – totally, totally, totally Quest For Fire.

And of the subject of fire – check out Britney the perfect parent, lighting up within feet of her adorable babes. Even I know better.