Sweet suffering Xenu… KFed Jr knocked up Tori Spelling and we had to endure the debut of his bank account. One Rossum photo after another Rossum photo, but this one has to take the cheese.

Look at them. Look at Tori all sweet and mothering and still ugly. And Junior holding his tiny child, trying to look contemplative and transformed. Actually, transformed isn’t a stretch: this baby IS a miracle. Like his mentor Kevin Federline, Junior now never has to work again.