As of press time (Monday morning 5am PST) Britney’s whereabouts since Friday night have not been confirmed. There have been multiple sightings – some are saying she was at the Mondrian on Sunday afternoon chainsmoking up a storm, showing no signs of drying out, there’s also a ridiculous rumour that she’s being Scientologised at the Celebrity Centre through Narconon, Tom Cruise’s magic 3 day addiction cure program. Still others insist she’s detoxing at Cedars Sinai - the point is, right now, nothing since that infamous evening of Balding Tattoos is very reliable. To satisfy your smutty souls however, here’s a roundup of the speculation run wild: - Crystal Meth pyschosis…and it’s not implausible. As I’ve mentioned before from working at Covenant House, crack cocaine is paling in comparision these days to Crystal Meth which can cause instant brain damage and irreversible psychological damage not to mention serious physical deterioration – as in pock marks all over the body as a result of obsessive picking from paranoia…curiously similar symptoms in many ways to what we saw from Lilo only a couple of months ago. Click here for a refresher. - Post Partum: also very plausible. After all, she did push out two in the space of a year. And given that she was also dealing with the disappointment from her marriage and probably more than a little regret, it’s hard to rule this out as a possibility. - the unmentionable: that she was raped at some point during her bender last week which finally brought her to, or at least close to, rock bottom. NOTHING substantiates this claim although it’s spreading like mad all over the internet, especially after Larry Rudolph’s alleged statement about Britney suffering from a “tragic” event that “will hopefully never happen again.” - A tribute? Her aunt passed away after a battle with cancer a few weeks ago. Some optimistic supporters are hoping this explains the rash de-hairing though it certainly doesn’t account for the dirty bikini, the puking, the crying, the hospital visit, the in and out rehab stay, and on and on and on and on Like I said…all rumours, believe what you want but remember, at press time, no one can lock anything down just yet. What we do know however is that her mother has arrived from Louisiana, presumably to smack the sh-t out of her. Whether or not she’s been able to gain access is another story. I’ve heard from some sources that Britney was refusing to take her brother’s calls on Friday and Saturday and would not speak to her sister either. I’m told she seemed irritated by her brother’s attempts but supposedly when Jamie Lynn rang, Britney appeared to be torn… staring at the display for a long, long, time before tossing her cell at her bodyguard. As for what Lynne’s doing or what she’s trying to do – word is her presence is motivated not only by her daughter’s downward spiral but also as a pre-emptive defense should KFed opportunistically demand custody of the children in light of what’s become of their mother. If he makes a move, we should hear some time today and Lynne’s role as the grandmother stepping in for an incapacitated parent could be critical in the face of any Federline attack…stay tuned.