The Original Federline made off with only a million after fertilizing not just one but two golden eggs. For the pupil though, that kind of money is chump change. Because now that Candy Spelling is all about being grandma, Tori’s bank account and little Liam’s trust fund suddenly got a lot heavier… which is what Junior had his eyes on the entire time. How else can you explain his nonstop Rossum?

The new family of 3 in the pages of Us Weekly – in Tori’s words:

“We have become even more connected. Every once in a while, (KFed Jr) will look at me and say “Thank you for giving me such a beautiful son.” And that makes me cry.”

Funny that. What makes one person cry makes another vomit. That would be ME vomiting. And probably you as well, non?

Still…gotta give it to Junior. Other golddiggers have failed before him because of ego, because they couldn’t swallow their pride, because they wanted to share the spotlight in addition to the cash. KFed Jr on the other hand is content to play the shadow, content to live as a kept man, content to be known as her husband…astutely understanding that in Hollywood, being rich is actually better than being proud.

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