I'm living' in that 21st century
Doing something mean to it
Do it better than anybody you ever seen do it
Screams from the haters, got a nice ring to it
I guess every superhero need his theme music

Those are the opening lyrics to Kanye West’s Power – written about himself, obviously, but applicable to his wife. I do not post about his wife or her family. But, in the 21st century, in gossip, even I can’t deny that she’s doing something mean to it. Mrs West understands the celebrity gossip cycle, probably better than most real celebrities, save Beyoncé and Brange. And Mrs West used that gossip cycle to step to Taylor Swift who isn’t actually sh-tty at gossip strategy. In fact, we’ve seen from Taylor a recent upgrade in her gossip sophistication. But on social media, not even she can compete with someone who is virtually bulletproof. Especially on social media.

Because in this kind of fight, where are Mrs West’s weaknesses? What could possibly be said about Mrs West that hasn’t been said already?

Mrs West already has a sex tape. So it’s not like you can expose her when she’s already exposed herself and exploited her own exposing into a family brand and a multimillion dollar cross-platform business. Some would argue too that instead of criticising the celebrity ecosystem without objectively acknowledging her role in that same ecosystem (hi Jennifer Aniston!), Mrs West has evolved it – to her great advantage. So it’s not like you can call her out on fame hypocrisy. She plays the game. She loves the game.

Mostly though, Mrs West has never claimed to be above it. She has always quite happily shown that she is IN it. That she’s living in the dirt, living in the smut. Which is why, when she’s serving up the smut, she’s actually bulletproof.

What are you actually going to say to her? Are you going to be all like, um, Mrs West, you should be above this. You should rise above this. This is beneath you.

F-ck no. SINCE WHEN???

This is what Kanye has done. He’s opened the door to the seventh room and let in a monster agitator. (Gossip gossip, n---a just stop it, everybody know I’m a motherf-cking monster.) And that agitator just claimed a victory for him against Taylor Swift, a mean girl who has traded on an increasingly thin image of rising above and a message of good character. That’s the problem when you pretend to not be a mean girl and you get caught up in a girl sh-t battle against a girl who celebrates her mean girlness. She will find your holes. And she will stick a concrete pillar into those holes and climb.

What just happened here is that Mrs West just climbed up on Taylor Swift’s back, the way she’s climbed up on so many other backs, one back bigger than the other. And Taylor Swift is the biggest so far. Mrs West has scaled Taylor Swift. Or, rather, Taylor Swift let herself be scaled by Mrs West. And, frankly, I’m mad at her for it. Because I now have to choke this out: Thank your Mrs West for one of the best gossip days of the year, if not the last decade.

Still more to come….