Not sure what Granny and Kate Hudson were presenting. This is because I was too distracted by Kate’s dress and whether or not she’d end up showing us some nipple. She was cognisant of it too. So she kept fidgeting with her chest, which only made me obsess about it even more. Unfortunately I can’t find the video. The only video I can find is the one where ARod introduces Jay-Z and Alicia Keys and gets booed. Did they object to his ass? Did you see his ass?

Morley and I were texting immediately afterwards about his surprisingly large ass. Makes Robert Pattinson’s mothering hips look small.

Speaking of malfunction alerts – Alicia Keys was also flirting with a breast tease. Her stage ensemble, the low cut jacket pantsuit was my favourite of the night. Oh Alicia. It’s just not the same now. Not after Swizz Beatz. Not after the homewrecking. A full account of her homewrecking is here. So disappointing.

Now back to Kate Hudson’s flatness, because I know some of you will be bitching about it…

And why?

Would augmenting them with fakies jacked up to her chin be an improvement? Maybe I’m biased. I love a flat chest.

Photos from and Kevork Djansezian/