There was a lame report that surfaced at the weekend – some bullsh*t about Kate Hudson and Justin Timberlake secretly dating for a year but she didn’t want to go public because she feared embarrassment and heartache a la Cameron Diaz.

I mean really…

Don’t they know Kate? Don’t they know Kate the unabashed maneater? Why would Kate Hudson bother for more than one night with JT and his pipsqueak? Why would Kate Hudson be embarrassed by anyone? Please.

There is no secret relationship between Kate and Pip. There is however a rapprochement of sorts going on between Kate and Owen Wilson. Their relationship was a complicated one – they adored each other but in a textbook dude weak move, he got freaked out by the intensity of his feelings and cheated.

Kate being Kate, she decided to take a step back, no hurt feelings, and during Spring 2007, they just bootycalled each other casually until Owen realised he wanted more. Unfortunately she then met Dax Shepard and wasn’t in the mood to revisit what she’d already walked away from.

When Owen found out she wanted nothing to do with him anymore, he lost his mind. Kate then lost interest in Dax, went back to a series of one-nighters, and now that enough time has elapsed, is apparently growing close to Owen once again.

Still… I do love the JT rumour for one amazing reason: Shelf Ass Biel must be livid that people keep insisting she can’t keep her man, especially when it comes to Kate Hudson. Bet your fake tits they’ll be an item in one of the rags next week about Shelfy checking out wedding dresses, or Pippy planning a proposal. Some grand overture of love designed to prove – yet again – that Pip is still with his Ass.

File photo from Splashnewsonline.com